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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462736">To Be or Not to Be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboy_hwa/pseuds/catboy_hwa'>catboy_hwa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, Blood Drinking, M/M, Mythical Beings &amp; Creatures, Secret Identity, Spooky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:53:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462736</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/catboy_hwa/pseuds/catboy_hwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>San likes taking walks. He loved the calmness they brought late at night. But after being chased by a monster of sorts, he’s terrified.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Be or Not to Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>San lays on the ground of his home out of breath. What in fucks name just happened.</p><p>His mind was a blur. Everything that was going on was crazy. He couldn't quite process what happened while on his nightly walk, but what he did know was he was fucking terrified.</p><p>---</p><p>San walks slowly through the dimly lit streets, playing soft music during his trek. He always loved these walks. They were calming and soothing. The cold fall air nipping at his skin, the street lights flickering in faux fear.</p><p>Kicking stray rocks and sticks on the sidewalk making minuscule noises as he walked. That’s the only noise that he ever heard on these walks. The patter of rocks skipping across the concrete sticks scraping the pale rock.</p><p>The silence was soothing.</p><p>But when a stick breaks in the woods to his left, it makes the man jerk his head in the direction. Was someone walking through the woods?</p><p>It was possibly either an animal or a very adventurous person. Then another stick breaks, and another, the breaks becoming more rushed and a lot closer to San.</p><p>Clicking on the flashlight of his phone, he shines it into the woods, trying to see what could have been running through the woods. That’s when he saw it.</p><p>That wasn't a person or an animal, and quite frankly San had no clue what it was.</p><p>It was a tall, lanky creature. skin a pale white color, eyes a glowing red, bones peeking out from under its tattered clothing.</p><p>It looked like it could have been human at one point. But something terrible happened to this person, San knew for a fact he did not want to see what happened to him.</p><p>His feet begin taking control of his body, taking him on a run he was not prepared for.</p><p>The mixed sounds of San’s feet pounding on the pavement, the gruesome growls and tapping of claws, the labored breaths forcing themselves from aching lungs.</p><p>San did exactly what his mind was screaming at him not to do. He turned to look at the thing following him, and boy did he regret it.</p><p>This thing following him was a lot scarier indirect light. You could see its protruding bones like they were fighting to escape the thin layer of skin that held them, It had a full head of hair, granted it was a royal mess, matted with a dark substance, and twigs and leaves weaved among the nest of hair.</p><p>San turns again, running now much faster. He did not want to get killed by that thing, not tonight.</p><p>He lets out a figurative sigh when he sees the lights of his home in the distance.</p><p>He runs up the staircase, rushing to unlock the door and slam it once more, locking it and collapsing on the cold floor of his foyer.</p><p>The happy barks of his dog, Shiber, ring out through the room.</p><p>The dog runs into the room, licking Sans face in excitement.</p><p>"Hey Shibes, miss me?" He laughs, momentarily forgetting the thing that was chasing him just previously.</p><p>His loving moment is disrupted when low growls, that are not from his dog, are heard just outside of his door.</p><p>He was sure it was that thing. Shiber, being the protective little pup he was, begins growling back at the door, barking loudly.</p><p>"Sh, Shiber, room, go to your room." San whispers. Dropping his ears, Shiber obeys, running off to his room.</p><p>The growling ceases, now a low whimper is heard, it was whimpering? Was it okay?</p><p>San frankly did not care, backing away from his door, he grabbed his phone, calling the first person he knew to call. Wooyoung.</p><p>"Hello?" The soft voice of his best friend rings through the line.</p><p>"Wooyoung, you may think I'm crazy but don't come home, not until I tell you to," San speaks, still in a whisper.</p><p>"What? Why?" Wooyoung asks, taken aback.</p><p>"I’ll explain later, but I would rather you be safe than being here." He replies.</p><p>"San, why are you whispering?" Wooyoung says in return, confusion riddling his voice in large amounts.</p><p>"I said I'll explain later," San says before hanging up the phone, walking towards the door, looking out the side, seeing nothing on his porch. It must have left.</p><p>San sighs, walking to his room, being greeted with a whimpering Shiber who lay on his bed.</p><p>"This doesn't look like your room Shiber." San laughs, scratching the dog’s head.</p><p>The dog whimpers once more, nuzzling his head into Sans hand.</p><p>Hours passed and San checked every window and door of his house before he thought it would be safe for Wooyoung to return, texting him it was okay for him to return.</p><p>Wooyoung bursts through the door, scaring San shitless.</p><p>"Okay now, do you want to tell me why I wasn't allowed to come home for three hours?" Wooyoung yells, dropping his bag and sitting with San on the couch.</p><p>San sighs, turning to look at the other.</p><p>"So, I was on my walk today, as I usually am, and I was walking past the woods, and I heard something in the woods, thinking it was an animal. It was getting louder so I looked to see, and it was, not an animal." He pauses, retelling the story made him feel stupid.</p><p>"It was. This thing. It was tall, skinny, way too skinny. Its eyes were bright red, and it was covered in something, I could see well but it was something I felt was not good," He sighs, "It started to chase me, all the way back home. I got in and it was by the door, growling and whimpering."</p><p>Wooyoung stares at the other, eyes wide and mouth dropped wide open.</p><p>"So you're telling me, you got chased by a monster?" He asks.</p><p>San simply nods, avoiding eye contact with the other.</p><p>"That's, interesting. We should hit the internet tomorrow and see if we can figure it out." Wooyoung speaks once more.</p><p>San looks at the other, his face now in shock, "You believe me?" He asks.</p><p>Wooyoung nods, "You look pale as shit and look very paranoid. I’ve been friends with you for years and I know not just anything would make you like this."</p><p>San lets out a deep breath, that he didn't realize that he was holding.</p><p>"Come on, lets get some rest, we have a library date with the other guys tomorrow, we can research some while we are there," Wooyoung says softly, grabbing Sans hand, which was ice cold.</p><p>Wooyoung pulls San into his room, throwing him a hoodie and changing into his clothes.</p><p>This wasn't rare for the two to share a room, everyone in their friend group thought they were dating or were going to date eventually, but they played it off as silly jokes.</p><p>Wooyoung lays down, pulling himself under the blankets, opening his arms wide for San.</p><p>San crawls into the bed, curling into Wooyoung's chest as they both drift into sleep.</p><p>-----</p><p>They two wake up the next morning, gathering their things, and begin walking to the library to meet their friends.</p><p>Grabbing a light breakfast beforehand, they walk into the vast building and find their group quickly.</p><p>"Wooyoung! San! Welcome!" Yunho, their lovely giant friend whisper-yells at the table that he and their other six friends occupied.</p><p>"Woah, Seonghwa-Hyung, you look sick, are you alright?" San asks as he sits beside the oldest, looking at him.</p><p>Seonghwa looked pale, the bags under his eyes putting Gucci to shame. He looked like he had been hit by a truck, in the nicest way possible.</p><p>Seonghwa perks up, sharing a gaze with Hongjoong before looking to San.</p><p>"Yeah, I’m fine, just didn't get much sleep last night." He replies, smiling softly at the other.</p><p>San simply nods, opening his laptop and looking to Wooyoung beside him, who had a spare notebook sitting between them, with the title, "The weird thing that chased San" in the topmost margin.</p><p>They both begin slapping away at the keys of their laptops, trying to find out what in the fuck it was that San saw.</p><p>"San, look at this picture," Wooyoung mutters, turning his screen towards San. The photo was a spitting image of what he had seen, but this one had slightly different hair.</p><p>"A Roulisk, it’s like a hybrid of a werewolf, vampire, demon thing, I guess, this says there are a lot of sightings of them in Korea," Wooyoung says.</p><p>"Roulisk. It fits whatever the fuck that thing was." San says, Seonghwa tensing at the word.</p><p>"What are you guys doing?" He asks, looking at the paper and screen, face going even paler at the sight of the screen.</p><p>"It’s a long story, Hyung, but I saw one of these things last night. It chased me." San says, looking to Seonghwa, who was blank-faced as he stared at the photo on the screen.</p><p>"I-I have to go to the restroom," Seonghwa whispers before running off. </p><p>Without a word, Hongjoong runs after the other, stepping into the bathroom with him. </p><p>“J-joong, they're going to figure it out, San is going to figure out that it was me chasing him.” Seonghwa mutters, tears beginning to run down his face. </p><p>“Why did you chase him?” Hongjoong asked, stepping closer to the other who cowered away. </p><p>Through his broken sobs, “I-i was scared. I could smell him, so I went to him, but when I’m in my Roulisk form, I can't speak, only growl or whimper. I had just eaten a deer, since I refuse to eat the typical diet, and so I looked terrible Joong. I wanted his help but he was terrified of me.” He chokes out, hot tears streaming down his face. </p><p>As Hongjoong tries to calm Seonghwas nerves, Wooyoung and San read any and all articles on Roulisk that they could find. </p><p>“They are not a single species, they give off a human appearance by day, but for a number of nights they morph into their Roulisk form to feed, usually on humans, though some refuse to feed on humans, due to a wrongful turning from human to Roulisk, meaning they would eat woodland creature. Despite getting their nutrition from these animals, they must still at least feed on human blood at least once a month in order to survive.” Wooyoung reads. </p><p>“So it's like a mutated vampire?” San asks, looking to Wooyoung, who simply nods in return. </p><p>San thinks for a moment. That thing that was chasing him. It did want to kill him, to eat him. It terrified him. That thing knows where he lives, it could come attack him if it wanted to. Feed on him and maybe even Wooyoung. </p><p>The boy is ripped from his thoughts when a sniffling Seonghwa sits back down beside him. </p><p>“You okay Hyung?” He asks, looking to the other, whose eyes are red and swollen. Seonghwa looks over to San, his distress visible in his eyes. </p><p>“Y-yeah, I'm fine. Don’t worry about me.” He whispers, leaning over into Hongjoongs embrace. </p><p>San and Wooyoung look at each other, mentally agreeing to cease their research for the time being. They had a feeling Seonghwa knew something about the Roulisks and wasn’t speaking up about it. </p><p>The boys all finish their tasks at hand and go their separate ways.  </p><p>Seonghwa and Hongjoong are walking to their home in silence, the cold fall air nipping at their faces. </p><p>“Hyung, you haven’t fed this month yet, you need to or you’ll get even sicker.” Hongjoong speaks, avoiding looking at the other. </p><p>“I can’t Joong, I know you want to help and you want to be there for me, but i don't want to get out of control and end up killing you, or turning you.” Seonghwa mutters, watching his feet. </p><p>“I don't care if you change me Hwa, you need human blood and if you don’t you could die, I would rather live as a Roulisk, then you die because you're too nice to feed off of me.” He replies, yelling at the other. </p><p>Seonghwa sighs, “Fine. I’ll do it when we get home, since i know you wont shut up until I do.” </p><p>Hongjoong smiles in victory. Sure, being fed on hurt like a bitch, he was happy that he could help his boyfriend in living. </p><p>They arrive back home, walking in and shaking off the chill of the outdoors. </p><p>Hong Jong grabs Seonghwas wrist, dragging him into their shared bedroom. </p><p>Hongjoong sits on the bed, removing his shirt and looking up at Seonghwa, who is teary eyed. </p><p>“Hwa,” Hongjoong whispers, grabbing his hands, “ Its okay, we have done it plenty of times, I’ll be fine.” </p><p>Seonghwa nods, getting on the bed as well, Hongjoong moving to a lying position. </p><p>Seonghwa was always nervous when Hongjoong told him to feed. He felt terrible. Having to hurt the man he loves only so he could survive. He didn't ask for this. Hongjoong wasn’t entitled to letting Seonghwa feed off of him, but yet here he lay, neck bared and ready for Seonghwa to sink his teeth into it. </p><p>Seonghwa sighs, thinking hard and letting his normally human teeth morph into fangs. Four separate fangs, sharp and a bright white, so large it was hard to close his mouth when they were out. </p><p>This was the only thing he could willingly change about himself. Anything else that had to do with being a Roulisk, he couldn’t control. </p><p>They two men make eye contact for a moment. Seonghwa sighs once more before moving to Hongjoongs neck. So beautifully tanned and smooth, the scent radiating from his veins. Hongjoong always smelled so sweet, like a field of strawberries at peak ripeness. </p><p>He decides, like always, to bite quickly. The slower he went, the more pain it would cause Hongjoong, and would give more time for his saliva to seep into his body, in turn, changing him. </p><p>Hongjoong tenses at the pierce of Seonghwas teeth into his neck. The worst part about when Seonghwa would feed off of him, is that he could feel his blood being sucked from his vein and into Seonghwas mouth. </p><p>Seonghwa loved the feeling and strength he got, the irresistible flavor of Hongjoongs blood. He absolutely loved it. But he hated it at the same time. He hated how sick it would make Hongjoong after, how pale he would look. </p><p>Pulling himself from the others neck, he looks deep into the others eyes, fluttering and almost closed. </p><p> </p><p>“Baby, you need more that, drink more.” Hongjoong mumbles, reaching a shaky hand to the back of Seonghwas head and pushing his face back into the bend of his neck. </p><p>Seonghwa forces himself from Hongjoongs grip, “I’ll be okay, it's enough to last me until next month. I'm going to go get you some juice and sugar.” Seonghwa smiles, before lapping at the wound with his tongue, the wound, by some Roulisk magic, closing itself and leaving no scar. </p><p>Seonghwa rises from the bed, walking out and to the kitchen, grabbing a large cup of orange juice and a handful of cookies for Hongjoong. </p><p>Feedings always went like this. Seonghwa would feed, then care for the other until he felt better, and then they would cuddle up and watch a movie until they both dozed off into sleep, Hongjoong usually being the first to fall. </p><p>He walks back into the other room, “Here you go babe, you sure you feel okay? I drank a lot this time, that's a lot of blood loss for someone with a tiny body.” He says, Hongjoong screaming, almost throwing his phone across the room. </p><p>“W-what.” Seonghwa asks, looking at a wide eyed Hongjoong. </p><p>“Okay what the fuck did I just hear?” A distant and muffled voice of one Choi San rings from Hongjoongs phone, which lay upside down at the end of the bed. </p><p>Seonghwa looks to Hongjoong, rushing to him and handing him his juice and cookies before grabbing the phone and pressing end. </p><p>“You were on the phone with San?” Seonghwa asks, looking at Hongjoong with wide eyes. </p><p>Hongjoong nods, “I thought you heard me yell, but I guess not.” </p><p>Seonghwa buries his face in his hands. </p><p>“I have to tell them, there is no going back now, he heard what I said.” Seonghwa mumbles. </p><p>“Babe, you don't have to if you don't want to.” Hongjoong replies. </p><p>Seonghwa shakes his head, “No, I have to, they’ll find out sooner or later, and I would rather it be by me telling them then by them finding out with their research.” </p><p>Seonghwa picks up his phone, opening the group chat with his other six friends. </p><p>‘Can everybody come over? I have to tell you guys something really important.’ He types, then presses send, Hongjoongs phone dinging at the message. </p><p>A few messages ring in, all saying ‘on my way’, or ‘be there soon’. </p><p>Seonghwa sits on the edge of the bed, shaking like a leaf. He was terrified. </p><p>Hongjoong sits behind him, eating his cookies and drinking the juice, rubbing soft circles on his boyfriend's back.</p><p>The two walk downstairs, Seonghwa helping Hongjoong to walk since he was still weak from the feeding. </p><p>The doorbell rings, and he goes to answer it, being greeted with six faces of worry. </p><p>He gives them all a pained and forced smile before stepping to the side to let them file in. </p><p>They make their way to the living room where Hongjoong sat, wrapped in a blanket, eyes drooping and sipping his orange juice slowly. </p><p>“Holy shit Hyung, are you okay?” Jongho asks, sitting beside Hongjoong and rubbing his back, Hongjoong simply nodding softly. </p><p>Seonghwa comes into the living room, sitting in a chair across from everyone, but close to Hongjoong, who grabs his hand and holds it tightly. </p><p>“Whats up hyung? Is everything okay?” Yunho asks, leaning forward on his knees</p><p>Seonghwa sighs, looking up, “This may be alot to take in, but I feel the need to tell you all before it gets out of hand,” he says, everyone in the room looking at him with wide eyes. </p><p>“I- fuck- You guys know, that thing, a Roulisk, that San and Wooyoung were looking up while they were in the library?” He asks, them all nodding, San and Wooyoung staying completely still. </p><p>“Well- I am one. I was turned about a year and a half ago, I was attacked, they sucked out over half my blood supply and I almost died, but instead they sucked a little more, getting a lot of saliva into my bloodstream, it turned me. I have never eaten human, but Hongjoong, he- he lets me feed off of him when I need to. I wanted to tell you all a lot sooner but I couldn't get the nerve to,” He sighs, looking around the room, everyone still staring at him calmly, no sign of fear in their eyes. </p><p>“San, the Roulisk that was following you that night. It was me. I was scared, I had a very abrupt and out of nowhere switch, I smelled you, I knew you. I forgot that I can't speak when I'm a Roulisk, so I wanted help but I just scared the shit out of you.” Seonghwa says, looking down to the ground. </p><p>San stands from his seat and walking over to the older, kneeling in front of him, grabbing his face in his hands and lifting his face to look at him, “Hyung, It’s okay, I myself and I’m sure everyone else here is honoured that you told us, I could tell you knew what they were when you saw the photo, You looked terrified and I’m so sorry that you have to suffer like this, and had to do it while hiding it from us for so long, because you were scared. We love you.” He wraps his arms around Seonghwas neck, holding him tightly. </p><p>Tears fell from Seonghwas eyes. He wasn’t sad. He was happy that they weren’t scared of him, that they weren’t cowering away in fear. </p><p>San stands, asking the others to come with him for a moment, they all oblige, leaving Hongjoong and Seonghwa alone in the living area. </p><p>“See babe, I told you they wouldn’t freak out, they’re our best friends, they’re here for you and they love you, they aren’t going to leave you.” Hongjoong smiles, squeezing his boyfriend's hand tightly. </p><p>The others return after a few minutes, all smiling. </p><p>“We want to ask something that will benefit both of you alot.” Wooyoung says, Seonghwa and Hongjoong looking at each other with concerned ridden faces. </p><p>“We all agreed, Let us help you, when you need to feed, give poor Hongjoong a break for awhile you know? He looks like shit and I’m sure he loves doing it for you, but we don't want Hongjoong to help alone. Feed on us. When you need to feed, just call one of us and we will come, ready and prepared.” Wooyoung says with a smile, Seonghwa shooting up from his chair. </p><p>“N-no guys I couldn't do that to you, It hurts like a bitch and you feel like shit afterwards, I don't want to hurt any of you.” Seonghwa says. </p><p>Yunho speaks up this time, “We are willing to take that chance Hyung, We want to make sure you stay fed and healthy, we read all about it and we really do want to help.” </p><p>Seonghwa looks to Hongjoong, both in worry, and asking mentally if his boyfriend would approve of him feeding off of other people. As if he was reading his mind, Hongjoong nods affirmingly. </p><p>Seonghwa sighs, looking back to his group of friends. </p><p>“Okay. But I’m okay for now, I won't have to feed for about another month, so you all have time to mentally prepare yourselves for it.” He says, the others laughing softly. </p><p>“We love you Hyung, We are here for you.” San says, hugging Seonghwa once more, the others moving in and enveloping Seonghwa in a group hug. </p><p>This was good. Really good.</p>
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